Preamble:
This document explains why I suck at blogging.
Narrative:
So…here it is, the answer to the burning question of why I suck. And, well, I truly do suck at blogging; there’s no doubt about it.
Summary:
I suck because:
1. I’m too lazy to pepper my entries with links
2. I don’t care to write techy entries about techy stuff
3. I don’t care if search engines find me and I use stupid tags and categories
4. I don’t go out of my way to be clever. I write like I talk.
5. I was too lazy to write the rest of the narrative
On a completely unrelated note, my latest personal fad is to tell people I’m a moderator on a forum all about them. This began with watchbryanwork.com when I said I was creating an online tribute to the art of leaning way back in your chair while using a mac in an incredibly laid back manner. Then I fabricated the existence of other sites such as gregisatotalgenius.com, seejenbonehomelessguys.com, and one site with a backstory that’s not worth relating, datereallivebloodsuckingvampires.com. I also like to tell people I have spycams and I charge people to watch streaming video of them. Most people get it. They laugh and, surprisingly, ask for a cut of the profit. But, when people don’t get it…man do they really not get it.
I bought some Sara Lee Blueberry Crumble bakery bread recently. I encountered an odd situation with it post-purchase, however. I realized I wasn’t entirely sure of the context in which a person eats bakery bread. In fact, I had never heard of “bakery bread” prior to this purchase because I assumed that, you know, it’s just common knowledge that bread comes from a bakery. You may wonder, then, why I bought it. Roughly, this was the sequence of events that went through my mind:
1. This package looks fancy
2. Oh it has blueberries
3. WTF IS BAKERY BREAD
4. I like blueberry bagels
5. I feel hungry
6. BUY BUY BUY
In the end, I just decided to eat it out of the package and it was good. The bag says you can toast it, but that’s too much work plus…I don’t have a toaster.
This evening prior to the rainstorm, there was the most amazing dog barking I have ever heard in my life. This dog barked at regular intervals for several minutes. It was about a second between each bark, but what was amazing was that it was so steady. Usually it seems like dogs will bark very rapidly for about 15 seconds, then slow down and perhaps growl before resuming barking at various intensities and speeds. Usually it also depends on the stimulus which caused the barking in the first place.
I guess it could be the case that something annoyed this dog for a second every other second which caused those barks. Maybe it was something like a turn signal. Or a series of electric shocks. I kind of wish I’d recorded it, but I think I’d be the only one that would understand the wonder of it all.
